Ben's other half shares the lessons she's been learning.
Everyone who meets Ben is struck by the same thing--how full of life he is. Yes, I used a cliche, but in my defense, it's the best way to describe the first impression my husband gives. And if being around Ben and other people like him has taught me anything, it's that you can't be full of life if you're not living a fulfilling one. As I'm always on the hunt for a fulfilling life (aren't we all?), I thought I would take over the blog this time and share the lessons I've been learning lately, using Ben as a way to illustrate my points since a) his mountaineering is the perfect example to use; and b) this is his blog:).
I am not one to make New Year's resolutions (sorry, Ben!), but these three lessons are the ones I'll be taking with me into 2021 and beyond:
Pursue your passion without apology. Some may think Ben's crazy to climb mountains, but I don't--he's doing what lights him up, he's doing it safely, and he'll have no regrets. I think that's what we all want, need and deserve out of life--to go after what makes us feel the most alive. An unlit fire never kept anyone warm, so whatever that "thing" is for each of us, it's tinder just witing for a spark. So why not set it ablaze and let the opinions of others (or even your own) burn away in the process. And if you don't know where your passions lie (and I don't...yet), stay open and stay curious; we never know what will cross our mind or our path.
Make up your mind(set). Ben believes that everything in life is 99 percent mental. (He's told me, "Say you can, and you will," more times than I can count.) While physical training is essential for mountaineering, a growth-oriented mindset is just as crucial--it'll keep you moving up the mountain long after your body "quits." How we view a challenge or an obstacle is always a choice--I'm continuing to learn that it's up to me whether I feel frustrated and powerless (which leads to giving up and staying stuck) or determined and motivated (which leads to reframing situations to look for lessons and uncover solutions). So many things are out of my control, but it is in my contol to decide that I'm capable of figuring it out and moving forward when life doesn't go the way I wanted. None of this is easy, but it's always worth the effort. And I'm finding that the outcome doesn't matter as much as I thought it would--it's knowing that life is happening for me, not to me, so it's up to me what meaning I give it.
A drop in the bucket (list) is everything. We all have those "one day" kind of dreams, the kind we think about and talk about but, deep down, don't ever think we'll actually go after. When Ben crossed Mt. Rainier off his bucket list in 2018, I was and am beyond proud of him (and, if I'm being honest, a bit envious!). Everyone has a bucket list, and it's amazing to see someone make a dent in theirs. Not all dreams are realistic or feasible, but when there's a chance one of them could be, it's not too soon and it's not too late to turn "one day" into "today." So, when an opportunity (big or small) comes my way, before I say, "It's not going to happen," I'm going to start asking myself, "It's not going to happen???" and see how that feels instead. It's an illuminating way to discover what I will and won't regret.
I am still working on all of the above--and I always will be, since living a fulfilling life is a lifelong pursuit (and I couldn't resist closing with a cliche as well:). While that was more than just a few "words" from me, I will leave you with just two: Climb on!
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